This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
