if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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