I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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