Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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