guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
