What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
