well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
