I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
