She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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