Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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