Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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