When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she told me i tasted like america
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
