you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
