its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
