you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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