so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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