Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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