Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
