i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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