I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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