If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
