he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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