I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize