It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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