There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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