why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize