There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
