U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
