The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize