there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
