He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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