Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
