so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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