something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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