I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
