Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
