Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
