Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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