I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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