so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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