I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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