Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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