He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
