you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
