if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Are we still banned from the library?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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