You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
