He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She needs sedatives and a leash
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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