Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
