Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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