I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
