She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
