no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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