I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
