she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize