i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
