I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
