the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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