And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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