Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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