i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
