sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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