Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
