Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
