hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
