My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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