I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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