think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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