feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The convent might be a nice break from real life
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
