My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
